Yes, it is not uncommon for individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) to become involved in relationships with individuals who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or exhibit narcissistic traits. This dynamic is sometimes referred to as a "narcissistic- borderline relationship" or a "narcissistic-BPD couple."
The reasons for this attraction between people with BPD and narcissists can be complex and multifaceted:
Idealization and Devaluation: People with BPD often struggle with intense emotional experiences and a tendency to idealize others, especially during the initial stages of a relationship. On the other hand, narcissists often project an aura of confidence, charm, and self-assuredness, which can be appealing to someone with BPD.
Codependency: Both individuals in the relationship may have codependent tendencies. The person with BPD may seek validation and a sense of self-worth from the narcissistic partner, while the narcissist may enjoy the admiration and attention they receive from the emotionally intense BPD partner.
Emotional Intensity: Both BPD and narcissism can involve intense emotional experiences. The relationship may be characterized by dramatic highs and lows, which can create a strong, albeit dysfunctional, emotional bond.
Vulnerability and Manipulation: People with BPD can be vulnerable to manipulation due to their fear of abandonment and their tendency to be overly trusting. Narcissists may exploit this vulnerability to maintain control and dominance in the relationship.
However, despite these initial attractions, the relationship between a person with BPD and a narcissist can be highly problematic and challenging. The dynamic often becomes toxic and unstable, with each partner reinforcing the negative patterns and behaviors of the other.
For example, the person with BPD may become increasingly dependent on the narcissist for validation, leading to a loss of their own sense of self and further exacerbating their emotional instability. On the other hand, the narcissist may exploit the BPD partner's emotional vulnerabilities for their own gain, leading to emotional abuse and manipulation.
In such relationships, it is essential for both individuals to seek therapy and professional support to address their respective personality traits and emotional issues. Individual therapy can help each partner develop healthier coping strategies, improve emotional regulation, and establish healthier boundaries in relationships. Additionally, couples therapy can be beneficial in addressing the dysfunctional dynamics and working toward healthier relationship patterns.