Experiencing narcissistic abuse can have a profound impact on a person's emotional and psychological well-being. One common consequence of being in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser is the development of feelings that may resemble narcissistic traits or tendencies. However, it's important to differentiate between these feelings and actually having a narcissistic personality disorder.
Here are some reasons why a person may feel like a narcissist after narcissistic abuse:
Survival Mechanism: In a relationship with a narcissistic abuser, the victim often experiences manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional invalidation. To cope with the abuse and protect themselves, they may adopt certain defense mechanisms, including temporarily displaying traits that seem narcissistic. This can be a survival strategy to assert themselves, protect their boundaries, or regain a sense of control in a highly imbalanced relationship.
Adopting Coping Strategies: Victims of narcissistic abuse may unconsciously adopt some of the abusive behaviors they experienced as a way to shield themselves from further harm. For example, they might become overly self-protective, self-centered, or display a lack of empathy to avoid being hurt again.
Emotional Confusion: Narcissistic abuse can leave victims feeling confused, disoriented, and emotionally depleted. As a result, they may struggle to understand their own emotions and needs, which could lead to behaviors that appear narcissistic.
Inner Self-Doubt: Narcissistic abusers often undermine their victims' self-esteem, leaving them with feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. In response, the victim might develop a defensive exterior that appears self-centered or overly focused on themselves.
Reclaiming Power: After experiencing prolonged abuse and control, victims might attempt to regain a sense of personal power and control over their lives. This can manifest as assertiveness or a focus on self-interest, which might be misconstrued as narcissism.
It's crucial to recognize that these feelings are often a response to the abusive environment and do not necessarily indicate a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder. In many cases, once the victim is removed from the abusive situation and receives support or therapy, these narcissistic-like feelings and behaviors tend to diminish.
If you or someone you know has experienced narcissistic abuse and is struggling with emotional consequences, seeking professional help from a therapist experienced in trauma and abuse recovery can be beneficial. A therapist can provide guidance, support, and tools to heal from the effects of the abuse and establish healthier emotional boundaries and relationships.