It's important to recognize that not every person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) tries to control others. However, it's true that some people with BPD can engage in manipulative or controlling behavior, often as a result of their intense fear of abandonment or unstable sense of self, which are characteristic symptoms of the disorder.
Some potential ways that a person with BPD might try to control others include:
Emotional manipulation: This might include things like guilt-tripping, gaslighting (manipulating someone into doubting their own sanity or perceptions), or playing the victim to make others feel responsible for their well-being.
Unstable and intense relationships: People with BPD often experience a pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. They might quickly shift from idealizing someone to devaluing them, which can lead to emotional turbulence and confusion for the other person.
Threats or self-harm: In extreme cases, a person with BPD might threaten to hurt themselves in an attempt to prevent someone from leaving or to control their behavior.
Excessive neediness: They might rely on others to a high degree for emotional support, decision-making, and self-esteem, effectively limiting the other person's freedom.
It's crucial to note that these behaviors can be very damaging, both for the person with BPD and for those around them. If you find yourself in such a situation, it's important to seek help from a mental health professional. It's also possible to maintain a healthy relationship with someone who has BPD, especially if they're undergoing treatment. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and other forms of therapy can be very helpful for individuals with BPD.
Finally, remember that it's never acceptable for anyone, regardless of their mental health status, to manipulate or control you. If you feel you're in an abusive situation, seek help immediately.