Narcissists have a personality disorder known as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), which is characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. One common trait of narcissists is their tendency to remind people of what they have done for them. There are several reasons why they engage in this behavior:
Seeking admiration and validation: Narcissists have an insatiable need for admiration and validation from others. By reminding people of the favors they have done, they hope to elicit praise and appreciation, boosting their ego and self-esteem.
Control and manipulation: Narcissists often use manipulative tactics to gain control over others. By constantly reminding someone of the things they did for them, they create a sense of indebtedness and guilt in the other person. This can be a way to keep the individual under their influence and control.
Maintaining a positive self-image: Narcissists have fragile self-esteem and a deep fear of being seen as inadequate. Reminding others of their "kindness" and "generosity" helps them maintain a positive self-image and stave off feelings of insecurity or worthlessness.
Feeding their sense of superiority: Narcissists believe they are superior to others and expect special treatment. By emphasizing the favors they've done, they reinforce their perception of being more significant and deserving of special treatment.
Deflecting criticism: When confronted with their negative behaviors or lack of empathy, narcissists may bring up the good deeds they've done as a way to deflect criticism and avoid taking responsibility for their hurtful actions.
Creating a sense of obligation: Narcissists may use their past favors as a way to create a sense of obligation in others. They might expect the person to reciprocate or be at their disposal whenever they demand it.
Building a false image of benevolence: Narcissists often want to be perceived as generous, kind, and caring individuals. Reminding others of their supposed acts of kindness helps build this false image and gain admiration from others.
It's essential to recognize these patterns in the behavior of narcissists, as they can be emotionally manipulative and harmful to the well-being of those around them. If you find yourself dealing with a narcissistic individual, setting healthy boundaries and seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be beneficial.