Trauma Bonding: Growing up in an abusive environment can create a strong bond with your parents, even if the relationship is harmful. This bond can make it challenging to break away, as it may trigger feelings of guilt, loyalty, or a desire for their approval.
Emotional Dependency: Parents are primary caregivers, and as a child, you depend on them for emotional support and validation. This dependency can carry into adulthood, making it harder to detach emotionally from them, even when their behavior is abusive.
Fear of Abandonment: If you have BPD, you might have a heightened fear of abandonment. This fear could lead you to hold on to toxic relationships, even if it causes you distress, as the thought of cutting them off triggers feelings of abandonment within you.
Gaslighting and Manipulation: Abusive parents may employ tactics like gaslighting, where they undermine your perceptions, emotions, and reality, making you doubt yourself and your decisions. This manipulation can lead to confusion and self-doubt, making it difficult to trust your instincts and break away.
Societal Expectations: Society often puts pressure on individuals to maintain connections with family, regardless of how toxic they might be. This can create feelings of guilt and shame when contemplating cutting off contact.
Hope for Change: There could be a part of you that still hopes your parents will change or that the relationship will improve, which can keep you stuck in the cycle of abuse.
Fear of Isolation: Cutting off abusive parents can lead to a sense of isolation, especially if you believe you won't have any other support system. The fear of being alone and not having anyone to turn to might deter you from taking that step.
It's essential to prioritize your well-being and mental health. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in BPD and family issues can be very helpful. They can help you navigate through your feelings of guilt, process your experiences, and work on setting healthy boundaries or finding alternative ways to cope with difficult emotions. Remember that your emotions and needs are valid, and it's okay to prioritize your peace and mental health.