Question

INFJs, how do I know that my experience, my sincere belief that my ex was NPD and myself empath, is not me projecting my shadow traits or other personality traits I may not like in myself, subconsciously?

Answer 1

I can provide some general insights that might help you understand your experience better.

Firstly, it's essential to acknowledge that self-awareness and introspection are complex processes. Understanding ourselves and our relationships can be challenging, and sometimes we may project our own issues onto others unconsciously. It's a natural human tendency, and it's essential to be open to the possibility that our perceptions may not always be entirely accurate.

Here are some tips to help you gain clarity:

1. Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and beliefs about your past relationship. Consider any patterns or recurring themes that might be influencing your perceptions.

2. Seek feedback: Talk to trusted friends or family members about your experiences and perceptions. They might offer valuable insights that you may not have considered.

3. Professional guidance: If you find it difficult to gain clarity on your own, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. They can provide a non-biased perspective and help you explore your feelings and beliefs in a safe and constructive way.

4. Analyze patterns: Look for patterns in your past relationships, not just the most recent one. Identifying consistent themes can help you understand whether your perceptions are rooted in projection or valid observations.

5. Embrace empathy and self-compassion: Remember that being empathetic doesn't mean ignoring your own needs or feelings. Be compassionate towards yourself and acknowledge that it's okay to have complex emotions.

6. Allow for growth and change: People evolve over time, and so do their perceptions. Stay open to the possibility that your understanding of past events may change as you gain new insights and experiences.

7. Focus on personal growth: Instead of getting caught up in labeling others or yourself, focus on personal growth and self-improvement. Recognize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and we all have the potential to grow and change positively.

Ultimately, the goal is to understand yourself better and make positive changes in your life based on that understanding. If you find it challenging to gain clarity on your own, don't hesitate to seek professional help, as they can offer valuable support in your journey of self-discovery.