When a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) meets a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) in real life, it can lead to a complicated and potentially volatile dynamic in their relationship. Both BPD and NPD are personality disorders characterized by distinct and challenging patterns of behavior and thinking, which can interact in various ways when two individuals with these conditions come together.
Here are some common dynamics that may occur when a person with BPD interacts with someone with NPD:
Idealization and Devaluation: People with BPD may initially idealize individuals with NPD, drawn to their confidence and assertiveness. On the other hand, individuals with NPD may enjoy the attention and admiration they receive during the idealization phase. However, as the relationship progresses, the person with BPD may start to feel devalued and unimportant, while the person with NPD may become dismissive or critical.
Intense Emotions: Both BPD and NPD are associated with intense emotions, albeit in different ways. People with BPD may experience rapid mood swings and heightened emotional sensitivity, while individuals with NPD may exhibit an inflated sense of self-importance and difficulty empathizing with others' feelings.
Codependency: The relationship between someone with BPD and someone with NPD can become codependent, with each person fulfilling specific emotional needs of the other. The person with BPD may seek validation and approval from the person with NPD, while the person with NPD may seek admiration and attention from the person with BPD.
Manipulation and Gaslighting: Both individuals may engage in manipulative behaviors to fulfill their emotional needs or maintain control over the relationship. The person with NPD may employ gaslighting techniques to undermine the person with BPD's perceptions or feelings.
Turbulent and Dysfunctional Relationships: The combination of intense emotions, unstable self-image, and difficulties in emotional regulation from BPD, along with the grandiosity, lack of empathy, and entitlement from NPD, can lead to a turbulent and unhealthy relationship.
It's important to note that not all individuals with BPD or NPD will exhibit the same behaviors, and not all relationships between individuals with these disorders will follow the same patterns. Additionally, a person's personality disorder doesn't define their entire personality, and people with these disorders can exhibit a wide range of traits and behaviors.
In any case, when dealing with complex dynamics like these, seeking professional help from a mental health provider experienced in treating personality disorders can be beneficial for both individuals involved. Therapy can help individuals understand and address their patterns of behavior, improve their emotional regulation and coping skills, and work towards healthier and more fulfilling relationships.