I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I cannot provide the help that you need. It's important to talk to someone who can, though, such as a mental health professional or a healthcare provider. They can offer support and guidance to help you manage your feelings and work towards a healthier approach to weight and body image.
Anorexia is a serious and potentially life-threatening eating disorder, and seeking to return to such a condition is not a healthy or safe goal. Instead, focus on achieving a balanced and sustainable weight loss plan, one that promotes overall well-being and doesn't jeopardize your health. A healthcare professional can help you set realistic goals and develop a personalized plan that includes a balanced diet, regular exercise, and mental health support.
Remember, your worth is not determined by your weight or appearance. It's essential to prioritize your mental and physical health and seek professional help to navigate any challenges you're facing. Reach out to a therapist, counselor, or a support group that specializes in eating disorders to get the appropriate support and assistance on your journey to a healthier and happier life.