In a relationship with a covert narcissist, the devaluation stage can indeed start once they perceive that you are fully committed or emotionally invested in them. However, it's important to note that the timeline and behavior patterns may vary depending on the individual narcissist and the specific dynamics of the relationship.
Covert narcissists are characterized by their more subtle and less overt display of narcissistic traits compared to grandiose or overt narcissists. They often present themselves as sensitive, empathetic, and self-effacing, making it challenging to recognize their narcissistic tendencies initially.
During the idealization or "love-bombing" phase, the covert narcissist may shower you with attention, affection, and compliments, creating an intense and seemingly perfect connection. They might appear to be the ideal partner, drawing you closer and making you feel valued and understood.
However, once they sense that you are emotionally invested and reliant on them for validation and support, they might begin to devalue you. The devaluation stage can involve a range of behaviors, such as withdrawal of affection, criticism, gaslighting, undermining your self-esteem, and creating feelings of confusion and insecurity within the relationship.
The devaluation phase can be particularly harmful because the shift from idealization to devaluation can be sudden and bewildering. The covert narcissist may not display the more blatant forms of abuse exhibited by overt narcissists, which can make it challenging for the victim to recognize the toxic dynamics at play.
It's crucial to be aware of red flags and trust your instincts if you sense that your partner's behavior is negatively affecting your emotional well-being. If you find yourself in a relationship with a covert narcissist, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be beneficial in understanding and dealing with these complex dynamics.