The scenario you described is not uncommon in relationships involving narcissistic individuals. While I cannot diagnose anyone, I can provide some insights into potential reasons behind this behavior.
Projection: Narcissists often engage in projection, a defense mechanism where they attribute their own undesirable thoughts, feelings, and behaviors onto others. They may fear being with a narcissistic person because they see traits in others that they actually possess but are not fully conscious of or unwilling to accept. Their paranoia about others trying to manipulate and use them could reflect their own manipulative tendencies.
Vulnerability and Control: Narcissists have a strong need for control and dominance. They fear being with someone who might be equally manipulative or powerful because it would challenge their control over the relationship. Their desire to maintain dominance and avoid vulnerability makes them wary of potential threats from others.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists have difficulty understanding or empathizing with others' feelings and perspectives. This lack of empathy makes it challenging for them to accurately assess others' intentions. As a result, they may assume that others are just as manipulative and self-serving as they are.
Trust Issues: Narcissists may have deep-rooted trust issues stemming from past experiences or childhood traumas. These issues can lead them to be overly suspicious and mistrustful of others, even when there is no reason for such paranoia.
Fragile Self-Esteem: Despite their grandiose outward demeanor, narcissists often have fragile self-esteem and can be deeply insecure. Their fear of being with a narcissistic person may be driven by the subconscious realization that such a person could see through their facade and threaten their self-esteem.
Difficulty Recognizing Their Own Narcissism: Narcissists may lack self-awareness regarding their own personality traits. They might not fully understand the extent of their narcissism or how it affects their behavior. Therefore, they may project their own narcissistic traits onto others instead of recognizing them in themselves.
It's essential to remember that dealing with a narcissistic individual can be challenging and emotionally draining. If you've been in a relationship with a narcissist, it's crucial to prioritize your well-being and seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals.