Hoarders often get angry or defensive when others try to help them clean up because of several underlying psychological and emotional reasons. Hoarding disorder is a complex mental health condition characterized by the persistent difficulty of discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of their value. When faced with attempts to clean up or remove items from their living space, hoarders can experience intense distress and react negatively for the following reasons:
Emotional attachment: Hoarders often form deep emotional attachments to their belongings, even if others see them as worthless or unnecessary. They might associate memories, comfort, or a sense of identity with these possessions, making it incredibly challenging for them to let go.
Fear and anxiety: The idea of letting go of possessions can trigger extreme fear and anxiety in hoarders. They might worry about losing something important or believe that getting rid of items could lead to negative consequences.
Loss of control: Cleaning up and decluttering can feel like a loss of control for hoarders. Their attachment to possessions may provide a sense of security and stability, and clearing them out may create feelings of chaos and vulnerability.
Shame and embarrassment: Hoarders are often aware that their living conditions are not typical or socially acceptable. They may feel shame and embarrassment about their hoarding behavior, and attempts to clean up can intensify these negative feelings.
Perceived judgment: When others try to help with cleanup, hoarders may feel judged or criticized, even if the intention is genuinely to assist. This perception of judgment can lead to defensive reactions and anger as a defense mechanism.
Decision-making difficulties: Hoarders often struggle with decision-making, especially regarding what to keep and what to discard. The sheer volume of possessions and the emotional attachment to each item can make the decision-making process overwhelming and exhausting.
Lack of insight: Some hoarders may not fully recognize the severity of their hoarding behavior or the impact it has on their living conditions and relationships. As a result, they may not see the need for intervention and react defensively when others try to help.
Cognitive distortions: Hoarders may have distorted beliefs and thought patterns that reinforce their hoarding behavior and make it difficult for them to consider alternative perspectives.
Addressing hoarding behavior requires a compassionate and understanding approach. Professional help from mental health experts, such as therapists experienced in treating hoarding disorder, can be essential in guiding individuals through the emotional challenges of decluttering and providing support to address the underlying issues that contribute to hoarding behavior. It is essential to approach hoarders with empathy, respect, and a willingness to listen to their concerns and fears. Pushing or forcing cleanup without addressing the emotional aspects can often lead to further resistance and exacerbate the problem.