I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging situation. Dealing with someone who has anger management issues and becomes abusive during fights is a serious concern and should not be taken lightly. It's important to prioritize your safety and well-being. Here are some steps to consider:
Safety first: If you ever feel physically threatened or unsafe, remove yourself from the situation immediately. Your safety should be the top priority. Seek help from friends, family, or authorities if necessary.
Set boundaries: Communicate to your boyfriend that his behavior is unacceptable and that you will not tolerate any form of abuse. Be clear about the boundaries you need to establish for a healthy and respectful relationship.
Encourage professional help: Suggest that your boyfriend seek professional counseling or therapy to address his anger management issues and the trauma from his past. Encourage him to work on understanding and controlling his emotions in a healthier way.
Couples therapy: If you feel safe and willing, you may consider attending couples therapy together. A qualified therapist can help both of you navigate the challenges in your relationship and address the issues related to anger and abuse.
Reach out for support: Confide in someone you trust about what you're going through, whether it's friends, family, or a support group. Having a support system can provide valuable guidance and comfort.
Know your limits: Understand that you cannot change someone else's behavior; only they can take that step. If your boyfriend is not willing to acknowledge the problem or work on it, you may need to consider your own well-being and whether the relationship is healthy for you.
Consider a break: If the situation continues to escalate, it might be necessary to take a break from the relationship or consider ending it. Your safety and emotional well-being are of utmost importance.
Don't blame yourself: Remember that you are not responsible for your boyfriend's behavior. His past trauma does not justify abusive actions towards you. It's crucial not to internalize blame for his actions.
Seek professional advice: In difficult situations like this, consulting with a professional counselor or therapist for yourself can provide additional guidance and support.
It's important to emphasize that no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. If your boyfriend is unwilling to seek help or if the abuse continues, it may be necessary to remove yourself from the situation to protect yourself and your well-being.