Feeling like something is off between you and your best friend is a common experience, and it doesn't necessarily mean you are being paranoid. It's natural for relationships, even close ones, to have ups and downs, and people go through periods of uncertainty or distance in their connections with others. There could be several reasons for these feelings:
Personal Challenges: Both you and your best friend have your individual struggles, and sometimes, these challenges can affect your interactions with each other. It's possible that you may be going through a difficult time, and it's impacting how you perceive the relationship.
Communication: Open and honest communication is vital in any relationship. If there's a lack of communication or misunderstandings, it can lead to feelings of unease or distance.
Comparison: You mentioned that you are disabled, and your friend seems to have a better handle on her problems. Comparing your life to hers may contribute to feelings of inadequacy or insecurity.
Changes in Priorities: Life changes, such as moving, new relationships, or career transitions, can impact the dynamics of friendships. Sometimes, these changes can lead to a sense of disconnect.
Self-Esteem: Low self-esteem or feelings of unworthiness may make it challenging to believe in the strength of your friendship.
If you are concerned about your friendship and how you are feeling, consider taking the following steps:
Reflect: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and try to identify what might be contributing to them. Consider writing down your thoughts and emotions to gain clarity.
Talk to Your Friend: Consider having an open and honest conversation with your best friend about how you've been feeling. Share your concerns and listen to her perspective as well. Communication can often help resolve misunderstandings or address any underlying issues.
Seek Support: If you find it challenging to cope with your emotions, consider talking to a counselor or therapist. They can help you explore your feelings, improve communication, and provide valuable guidance.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it's okay to have ups and downs in friendships. Remember that your worth is not determined by how you perceive your friendship with others.
Focus on the Positive: Try to focus on the positive aspects of your friendship and the support you have received from your friend in the past.
Ultimately, friendships require effort and understanding from both sides. It's normal to have fluctuations in the connection, but with open communication and support, you can work through these feelings together.