It's understandable that you may be feeling conflicted and hesitant about reconnecting with a toxic friend who caused you anxiety and panic attacks. Your well-being should be a priority, and it's essential to protect yourself from potentially harmful relationships. Here are some steps to consider:
Take time to reflect: Before making any decisions, take some time to reflect on your past experiences with this friend and how they affected you. Consider the reasons you distanced yourself from her and the impact it had on your mental and emotional health.
Set boundaries: If you decide that you do not want to rekindle the friendship, it's essential to set clear boundaries. You don't have to ignore her completely, but you can politely let her know that you need space and time to focus on yourself and your well-being.
Be honest but assertive: If you feel comfortable doing so, you can have an honest conversation with your friend about why you chose to step back from the friendship. Share your feelings and experiences without blaming or attacking her. This can help her understand your perspective and may lead to better self-awareness on her part.
Prioritize self-care: Make sure you prioritize your own well-being. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who uplift you and contribute positively to your life. Engage in activities that bring you joy and reduce stress.
Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about the situation and how you're feeling. Sometimes discussing your thoughts and emotions with someone else can provide valuable insights and support.
Consider the future: Think about what you want for your life moving forward. If reconnecting with this friend is likely to bring back negativity and harm your mental health, it may be best to keep your distance.
Trust your instincts: If your gut feeling tells you that allowing her back into your life is not the right decision, trust yourself. You have the right to prioritize your well-being and surround yourself with people who treat you with respect and kindness.
Stay firm: If she persists in trying to be part of your life and you're not comfortable with that, stay firm in your decision. Politely but assertively reiterate your boundaries and focus on taking care of yourself.
Remember that it's okay to prioritize your mental and emotional health. Sometimes, letting go of toxic relationships is necessary for personal growth and well-being. If you ever find it challenging to cope with your feelings or if your anxiety and panic attacks persist, consider seeking support from a mental health professional who can help you navigate through this process.