It's important to note that I can't offer a diagnosis, and the symptoms you described could be related to various conditions. If you're experiencing distressing symptoms, I strongly recommend seeking help from a qualified mental health professional for a proper evaluation and guidance.
Given the context of mourning and the symptoms you mentioned, several possibilities could be considered:
Grief and Bereavement: Mourning the loss of a loved one can be an incredibly challenging experience and can trigger a range of emotions, including panic attacks and feelings of being overwhelmed.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): If the loss you experienced was particularly traumatic, it's possible that you may be experiencing symptoms associated with PTSD. This can include intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, and a sense of being surrounded by danger.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): BPD is a complex mental health condition that involves difficulties with emotions, self-image, and interpersonal relationships. Symptoms can include feelings of emptiness, fear of abandonment, and dissociative experiences.
Depression and Anxiety: Experiencing a loss can contribute to feelings of sadness and anxiety. These conditions can lead to panic attacks and feelings of worthlessness or being a monster.
Psychotic Disorder: In some cases, severe stress or traumatic events can trigger psychotic symptoms, which might include hallucinations or paranoid thoughts.
Adjustment Disorder: It's possible that the distress related to the loss has led to an adjustment disorder, which can involve anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, and difficulty coping with life changes.
Substance Use: Sometimes, individuals turn to substances to cope with grief and trauma, and substance use can exacerbate mental health symptoms.
It's crucial to remember that seeking professional help is vital to getting an accurate diagnosis and appropriate support. A mental health professional can conduct a thorough assessment, consider your personal history and circumstances, and provide tailored treatment recommendations.
In the meantime, consider reaching out to friends, family, or support groups for emotional support. Self-care practices like exercise, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques may also help alleviate distress. However, remember that self-help is not a substitute for professional treatment when dealing with complex mental health issues.
Please don't hesitate to seek help from a mental health professional as soon as possible. They can guide you through this difficult time and work with you on developing coping strategies and treatment options tailored to your specific needs.