I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging and emotional situation. When someone is facing a terminal illness, their emotional and psychological state can be profoundly affected. It's not uncommon for terminally ill individuals to push their loved ones away for various reasons:
Protecting their loved ones: Your boyfriend may be trying to shield you from the pain and sadness associated with his condition. He might believe that by distancing himself, he's sparing you from experiencing additional hurt when he's gone.
Fear of dependency: Some terminally ill individuals may feel a sense of burden or guilt about relying on their loved ones for care and support. Pushing you away could be an attempt to avoid feelings of dependence.
Sense of hopelessness or helplessness: Facing a terminal illness can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. Your boyfriend might believe that by pushing you away, he can spare you from the emotional distress of witnessing his suffering.
Difficulty accepting the situation: Coming to terms with one's mortality and saying goodbye to loved ones can be incredibly challenging. Pushing you away might be his way of trying to emotionally detach and cope with the impending loss.
Fear of abandonment: As his health declines, your boyfriend may fear that you will leave him or that you'll find it too difficult to handle the situation, leading him to push you away as a way of self-protection.
Lack of control: Terminal illness often leaves individuals with a loss of control over their lives and circumstances. Pushing you away might be his way of exerting some semblance of control in a situation where control seems lost.
It's essential to remember that his behavior isn't necessarily a reflection of your relationship or love for each other. Instead, it could be a manifestation of his struggle to cope with the complexities of his condition.
While it's challenging, try to be patient, understanding, and supportive during this time. Encourage open communication and let him know that you are there for him, no matter what he's going through emotionally. However, it's also important to take care of yourself during this difficult period. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group to share your feelings and experiences. Consider seeking professional counseling or therapy to help you navigate through the emotions surrounding your boyfriend's illness.
Remember, each person's experience with a terminal illness is unique, and it's crucial to approach the situation with empathy, compassion, and understanding.