Feeling like you want to give in to your unwanted OCD thoughts, even when you don't actually want to, is a common experience for individuals with OCD. This phenomenon is related to the nature of obsessions and the anxiety they provoke.
Obsessions in OCD are intrusive and distressing thoughts, images, or urges that are unwanted and cause significant anxiety or discomfort. Despite not wanting to have these thoughts, they persist and create an intense emotional response. When faced with such distressing thoughts, people with OCD might experience the urge to engage in specific behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) as a way to alleviate the anxiety caused by the obsession.
These compulsions might include actions like checking, washing, counting, or mental acts like repeating phrases or seeking reassurance. The compulsions act as a temporary relief from the anxiety, providing a sense of control and reducing distress. However, giving in to these compulsions only reinforces the OCD cycle, making the obsessions and the need to perform compulsions more persistent.
So, even though you may consciously recognize that you don't want to entertain these unwanted thoughts or engage in the associated compulsions, the anxiety they cause can create a strong urge to do so in hopes of finding relief. It's like a vicious cycle where giving in to the compulsions provides short-term relief, but in the long run, it maintains and strengthens the grip of OCD.
Managing OCD involves learning strategies to resist these compulsions and to gradually tolerate the anxiety caused by the obsessions. This process is often part of a comprehensive treatment plan that may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and sometimes medication.
If you find that OCD symptoms are interfering with your daily life or causing significant distress, it's essential to seek support from a mental health professional with experience in treating OCD. They can help you develop coping skills and techniques to better manage these unwanted thoughts and compulsions. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength and can lead to significant improvement in managing OCD.