Dealing with a parent's anger issues, especially when they are directed towards you, can be challenging and emotionally difficult. Here are some steps you can consider taking to cope with the situation:
Stay Calm: When your mother becomes angry, try your best to remain calm. Responding with anger or frustration might escalate the situation further. Take deep breaths and remind yourself that her anger is not necessarily about you, but it could be a reflection of her own struggles or emotions.
Avoid Escalation: As tempting as it may be to argue or defend yourself, try not to engage in a heated argument. Sometimes, the best course of action is to remain silent or calmly acknowledge her feelings without necessarily agreeing with them.
Validate Her Emotions: Let your mother know that you understand she's upset or angry. You can say something like, "I can see that you're upset, and I'm sorry you feel that way." Validating her emotions doesn't mean you accept any inappropriate behavior, but it can help defuse the situation.
Set Boundaries: It's important to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. Let your mother know that while you respect her, you also deserve to be treated with respect. Make it clear that you won't tolerate verbal or emotional abuse.
Find the Right Time to Talk: After the situation has calmed down, try to have a calm and open conversation with your mother about her anger issues. Choose a time when both of you are in a relatively good mood and can talk without distractions.
Express Your Feelings: During the conversation, express how her anger affects you and your relationship. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, "I feel hurt when you yell at me," rather than "You always yell at me."
Offer Support: If you think your mother's anger issues are affecting her well-being or your family's dynamics, suggest seeking professional help. You can propose going to family therapy together or encourage her to seek individual counseling.
Seek Support for Yourself: Coping with a parent's anger can be emotionally taxing. Reach out to friends, other family members, or a counselor to talk about your feelings and experiences. Support from others can be invaluable during difficult times.
Practice Self-Care: Take care of your own mental and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help reduce stress. This self-care can provide you with the strength to handle challenging situations more effectively.
Know When to Step Back: In some cases, despite your best efforts, the situation may not improve. It's essential to recognize that you cannot control someone else's behavior. If the anger becomes harmful or abusive, consider seeking help from a trusted adult, such as a family member, teacher, or counselor.
Remember, dealing with a parent's anger issues can be complicated, and it may take time to find the best approach. Ultimately, your well-being is crucial, and if necessary, don't hesitate to prioritize your safety and emotional health.