I'm really sorry to hear that you've been feeling this way for so long. It's important to recognize that I am not a mental health professional, but I can try to offer some general guidance and understanding.
Depression, anxiety, OCD symptoms, and maladaptive daydreaming are complex mental health issues that can have multiple underlying causes. Self-hatred and dissatisfaction with life can certainly contribute to these feelings and behaviors, but it's essential to remember that mental health problems are often caused by a combination of factors, including biological, environmental, and psychological elements.
It could be helpful to explore the possible reasons behind your self-hatred and dissatisfaction with life. Reflecting on past experiences, relationships, and personal beliefs may provide some insights. Additionally, life transitions, such as starting college, can be challenging and may exacerbate existing issues.
It is crucial to reach out for professional help. Consider speaking to a mental health counselor or therapist who can offer guidance, support, and provide appropriate strategies to cope with your feelings and symptoms. They can work with you to understand your emotions better, identify potential triggers, and develop coping mechanisms.
In the meantime, some self-help strategies may be beneficial, such as:
Seeking Support: Talk to friends, family, or support groups about what you're going through. Sharing your feelings can sometimes provide relief and a sense of understanding.
Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help reduce stress and anxiety.
Journaling: Keeping a journal to express your thoughts and feelings can be a valuable tool for self-reflection and emotional release.
Healthy Lifestyle: Engage in regular physical activity, maintain a balanced diet, and ensure you get enough sleep. These factors can impact your mental well-being.
Limit Maladaptive Daydreaming: If you find that excessive daydreaming negatively affects your daily life, consider setting aside specific times for daydreaming to maintain better focus on other tasks.
Remember, there's no shame in seeking help for mental health challenges, and it's a courageous step to take care of yourself. Don't hesitate to reach out to a professional for personalized advice and support.