It's important to note that I can't diagnose or provide specific medical advice. If you're experiencing distressing thoughts or concerns about your sexual orientation, it's crucial to consult with a qualified mental health professional for an accurate evaluation and appropriate support.
HOCD, or Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, is a subtype of OCD where an individual experiences intrusive and distressing thoughts about their sexual orientation. People with HOCD may fear being gay or losing their attraction to the opposite sex, even when there is no evidence to support these fears. These thoughts can be persistent and cause significant distress.
OCD can indeed play tricks on a person's mind, and it can lead to doubts and anxieties about aspects of your identity, including sexual orientation. It's important to remember that your thoughts and feelings do not define your identity. At times, the fear of not feeling attracted to women (in your case) can become so distressing that it can interfere with your actual feelings or lead to heightened self-awareness, making it difficult to determine your genuine emotions.
It's important to seek support from a mental health professional who can help you understand and cope with your thoughts and feelings. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common treatment approach for OCD, including HOCD. A therapist can work with you to identify and challenge irrational thoughts, manage anxiety, and develop healthier coping strategies.
Remember that seeking professional help is a positive step towards understanding and managing your thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. Mental health professionals can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation and help you navigate through any challenges you're facing.