What you describe could be indicative of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), but it's essential to remember that only a qualified mental health professional can make an accurate diagnosis. If you're experiencing significant distress or impairment in your daily life due to these concerns, it's important to seek help from a healthcare professional for a proper evaluation and guidance.
OCD is a mental health condition characterized by intrusive and distressing thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) performed to alleviate the anxiety caused by the obsessions. People with OCD may engage in specific rituals or compulsions to reduce their anxiety related to their fears, which can sometimes revolve around cleanliness or fear of contamination.
The fear of using dishes or silverware with smudges or visible dirt could be related to a contamination obsession, leading to avoidance behaviors. Additionally, avoiding going out to eat due to fear that dishes at restaurants might be dirty could also be a sign of OCD-related behaviors.
If you suspect you might have OCD or any other mental health concerns, it's important to seek help from a mental health professional. They can provide an accurate diagnosis and develop a personalized treatment plan to address your specific needs. OCD is treatable, and therapy (such as cognitive-behavioral therapy) and, in some cases, medication can be effective in managing the symptoms.
Remember, seeking help is an important step towards improving your well-being, and there is no shame in reaching out for support. Mental health professionals are trained to help individuals like you and provide the necessary care and understanding.