Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a complex mental health condition characterized by intrusive, distressing thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) aimed at reducing anxiety or preventing feared outcomes. These obsessions and compulsions can significantly interfere with daily life and cause significant distress.
In your case, it seems that one of your obsessions is related to the fear of becoming dumb or losing intelligence. OCD tends to latch onto our deepest fears and vulnerabilities, and it often creates irrational or exaggerated thoughts and beliefs. These intrusive thoughts can be persistent and cause significant anxiety.
The compulsive behavior you mentioned, engaging in self-reassuring activities, is a common response to try to alleviate the anxiety caused by the obsessive thoughts. When you engage in these behaviors, even temporarily, you might experience a sense of relief or reduced anxiety. However, this relief is typically short-lived, and the obsessions tend to return, leading to a cycle of obsession-compulsion.
It's important to recognize that these thoughts are a symptom of OCD and do not reflect your actual intelligence or capabilities. OCD can be challenging to manage, but there are effective treatments available, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and medication, that can help you gain control over the disorder and reduce its impact on your life.
If you haven't already, I strongly recommend seeking support from a mental health professional, preferably one with experience in treating OCD. A therapist can work with you to develop strategies to challenge these intrusive thoughts, cope with anxiety in healthier ways, and gradually reduce the need to engage in self-reassuring activities.
Remember, you are not alone, and seeking professional help is a positive step towards managing OCD and improving your overall well-being.