I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation. Developing feelings for someone outside of your marriage can be emotionally challenging, but it's essential to address these feelings to preserve the well-being of your marriage and your own mental health. Here are some steps to help you get over your coworker:
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Accept that you have developed feelings for your coworker and that it's normal to experience such emotions. Avoiding or suppressing your feelings may only make the situation more challenging.
Set Boundaries: Create clear boundaries with your coworker to minimize interactions and avoid situations that might intensify your feelings. Limit any non-work-related conversations and avoid spending unnecessary time together.
Minimize Contact: If possible, try to limit the time you spend around your coworker. Avoid situations where you are alone with them or in social settings that might increase emotional intimacy.
Focus on Your Marriage: Redirect your attention and energy toward strengthening your relationship with your spouse. Remember the reasons you got married and the things that you love about your partner.
Talk to Your Spouse: If you feel comfortable, consider discussing your feelings with your spouse. Honesty and open communication are vital in any marriage. Sharing your struggles can lead to understanding and support from your partner.
Seek Professional Help: If the feelings persist and are causing significant distress, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you explore the underlying reasons for your feelings and provide guidance on how to cope with them.
Engage in Self-Reflection: Take some time to reflect on why you might have developed feelings for your coworker. Understand whether there are any unmet needs or issues within your marriage that might be contributing to these emotions.
Distraction and Hobbies: Engage in activities and hobbies that can take your mind off the situation and help you focus on other aspects of your life.
Practice Mindfulness and Self-Care: Engage in mindfulness practices and self-care to reduce stress and improve your emotional well-being.
Avoid Rumination: Try not to dwell on the situation or replay interactions with your coworker in your mind. Obsessing over the situation will only make it harder to move on.
Remember that getting over someone takes time, and it's okay to have these feelings, as long as you take appropriate steps to handle them responsibly. If you find it too challenging to navigate this situation on your own, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist can provide valuable support and guidance tailored to your specific circumstances.