Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may have complex and intense feelings toward their family members, particularly those who have consistently supported and stayed with them. However, it's important to remember that BPD affects each person differently, and individual experiences and emotions may vary. Here are some common ways people with BPD may feel about their family members who have been supportive:
Intense Love and Attachment: People with BPD often experience intense emotions, including love and attachment. If family members have been a stable source of support and care, individuals with BPD may feel a strong bond with them.
Fear of Abandonment: One of the core features of BPD is a fear of abandonment. Family members who have never left them may be seen as a reliable and trustworthy presence, helping to alleviate some of the abandonment fears.
Gratitude: Individuals with BPD might feel grateful for their family members' unwavering support and dedication. They may recognize the sacrifices made and the efforts put in to help them during difficult times.
Guilt and Shame: Despite feeling grateful, individuals with BPD might also experience guilt and shame about burdening their family members with their emotional struggles and instability.
Conflicting Emotions: BPD is characterized by emotional dysregulation, which can lead to conflicting emotions. Someone with BPD may love and appreciate their family members but also feel anger, frustration, or resentment, especially during times of stress or conflict.
Idealization and Devaluation: People with BPD can have a tendency to idealize their loved ones during positive moments and then quickly shift to devaluing them during periods of distress or perceived abandonment. This can lead to unpredictable changes in emotions toward family members.
Dependency: Individuals with BPD may develop a strong dependency on their family members for emotional support and validation, leading to a complicated dynamic in the relationship.
Efforts to Push People Away: BPD can lead to behaviors that push loved ones away, even those who have been consistently supportive. This "push-pull" dynamic can create strain in the relationship.
It's crucial to recognize that BPD can be challenging for both the individual with the disorder and their family members. Maintaining a healthy and supportive relationship may require understanding, open communication, and, in many cases, professional help or counseling. Family support and involvement can play a significant role in the recovery and management of BPD, but it's essential for family members to prioritize their well-being as well. If you or someone you know is struggling with BPD, seeking professional help from a mental health provider experienced in treating BPD is highly recommended.