Feeling strongly about someone and wanting to be an important part of their life is a common experience, especially when you have strong feelings of attraction and connection. However, it's crucial to recognize that wanting to be someone's "whole life" can lead to an unhealthy and codependent dynamic.
Here are some possible reasons why you might feel so obsessive about this girl:
Infatuation: You might be infatuated with her, which can lead to intense feelings and thoughts about her. Infatuation can often cloud judgment and make it difficult to see the situation objectively.
Emotional Needs: You could be projecting your unmet emotional needs onto this person, hoping that they will fulfill those needs for you. This desire for emotional validation and support can intensify your feelings.
Idealization: Sometimes, we tend to idealize people we are attracted to, focusing only on their positive qualities and ignoring any potential negative aspects. This idealization can contribute to the intensity of your feelings.
Lack of Control: Strong emotions can arise when we feel like we have no control over a situation or when we cannot have something we desire. The more unattainable the person seems, the more intense the feelings can become.
Escapism: Focusing on someone else can sometimes be a way to escape from personal challenges or difficult emotions in our own lives.
Insecurity: Feelings of obsession can also stem from feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. You might believe that being with this person will make you feel more valuable or complete.
Limited Social Interaction: If you don't have many close connections or social interactions, you might invest more emotional energy in this person, making them the center of your attention.
It's essential to take a step back and assess these feelings. It's okay to have strong emotions, but it's crucial to approach relationships in a healthy and balanced way. Instead of fixating on being her "whole life," consider the following steps:
Self-Reflection: Try to understand the root of your obsession. Are there any underlying insecurities or unresolved issues that need attention?
Boundaries: Set healthy boundaries for yourself. Understand that you cannot be someone's entire world, and it's essential for both of you to maintain individual lives and identities.
Focus on Your Life: Redirect your energy towards your personal growth, hobbies, and relationships with friends and family.
Realistic Expectations: Recognize that no person can fulfill all your needs or make you happy all the time. It's essential to maintain a balanced perspective.
Professional Help: If you find it challenging to manage your feelings or if they interfere with your daily life, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor.
Remember, it's essential to cultivate a healthy sense of self and learn to be content and happy with yourself before seeking a relationship with someone else. Emotions can be intense, but learning to manage and understand them is an essential part of personal growth and well-being.