When a person becomes obsessed with someone but tries to convince themselves that they don't have feelings for them, it can be a complex psychological and emotional situation. This behavior often stems from a combination of conflicting emotions, desires, and defense mechanisms. Here are some possible reasons for this contradictory behavior:
Fear of Rejection or Vulnerability: The person may fear rejection or getting hurt if they admit their feelings openly. To protect themselves from potential pain, they may try to deny or suppress their true emotions.
Social or Cultural Pressures: Social or cultural norms might discourage the person from expressing their feelings openly. They may believe that having such emotions is inappropriate or unacceptable, leading them to deny their true feelings.
Low Self-Esteem: The person may have low self-esteem or a negative self-image, leading them to believe that their feelings are unworthy or that the other person wouldn't reciprocate their affections.
Unavailability of the Other Person: If the object of their obsession is in a committed relationship or unavailable for some other reason, the person may try to deny their feelings to avoid facing the reality that the relationship is unlikely to happen.
Difficulty Processing Emotions: Some individuals may have difficulty processing and understanding their emotions. They may engage in denial as a coping mechanism to avoid confronting their feelings.
Escapism and Fantasy: Obsessing over someone may serve as a form of escapism or a way to create a fantasy world where the person can temporarily find comfort or distraction from their everyday life.
Self-Deception: The person may engage in self-deception to maintain the illusion of control over their emotions. They may believe that by denying their feelings, they can prevent themselves from acting on them or facing potential consequences.
Idealization: The person might have idealized the object of their obsession, creating an unrealistic image of them. By denying their feelings, they may be protecting this idealized perception from being shattered.
It's important to note that such behavior can be harmful to both the individual and their relationships. If someone finds themselves in this situation, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be beneficial. Addressing and understanding these conflicting emotions can lead to healthier coping mechanisms and a more authentic emotional experience. Accepting and processing one's feelings is an essential step towards emotional growth and developing healthier relationships with others.