While it is not a universal rule, it is common for narcissists to exhibit increasingly harmful behaviors in new relationships or as existing relationships progress. This pattern often occurs because of several factors:
Idealization and Devaluation Cycle: Narcissists tend to idealize their new partners or acquaintances in the early stages of a relationship. They may put them on a pedestal, showering them with praise and affection. However, this idealization is usually short-lived. Once the initial excitement wears off or when the partner doesn't live up to their inflated expectations, the narcissist may start devaluing and demeaning the person.
Lack of Long-term Intimacy: Narcissists struggle with forming deep and meaningful emotional connections with others. As the relationship progresses and becomes more intimate, the narcissist may feel uncomfortable and begin to pull away or show more destructive behavior.
Need for Control and Power: Narcissists have a strong desire for control and power in their relationships. As they become more comfortable or invested in the relationship, they may exert more control over their partner, leading to more manipulative and coercive behaviors.
Fear of Abandonment: Beneath their grandiose facade, narcissists often have deep-seated insecurities and a fear of rejection or abandonment. As the relationship becomes more serious or as conflicts arise, their fear of being abandoned might trigger defensive behaviors, such as distancing themselves emotionally or lashing out.
Escalating Entitlement: Narcissists often feel entitled to special treatment and constant admiration. As they become accustomed to receiving attention and praise from their partner, they may demand even more validation and adoration, leading to more demanding and exploitative behaviors.
It's important to note that not every narcissist follows this exact pattern, and the severity of their behavior can vary based on individual traits, life experiences, and the level of self-awareness they possess. Some narcissists may be capable of sustaining relationships for longer periods without showing significant deterioration, while others may exhibit destructive behaviors more quickly.
Regardless of the specific patterns, being in a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally draining, harmful to your well-being, and challenging to navigate. If you suspect that you or someone you know is in a relationship with a narcissist, seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with narcissistic personality dynamics can be beneficial in understanding and coping with the situation.