Narcissists are known for their deep-seated insecurities and fragile self-esteem, despite their outward display of grandiosity and self-importance. They have an intense need for validation and admiration from others to maintain their inflated sense of self-worth. This need for constant attention and validation can make them highly sensitive to perceived threats to their ego.
When a narcissist becomes jealous of people from your past, even if you haven't had any contact with them for years, several underlying factors might contribute to their behavior:
Fear of abandonment: Narcissists often fear being abandoned or replaced, as they rely heavily on others' attention and admiration for their self-esteem. When they see you have had past connections with other women, even if it's in the distant past, they may feel threatened that you could return to those relationships and leave them.
Comparison and competition: Narcissists tend to view relationships as competitions, and they always want to be seen as the best and most important person in your life. If they perceive that someone from your past had a significant impact on you or that you once valued another woman's attention, they might feel inadequate or envious of that connection.
Ego-centric perspective: Narcissists have difficulty seeing things from other people's points of view, so they might not understand or care about the fact that you no longer have any contact with these women. Instead, they could be solely focused on how these past connections might affect them and their self-image.
Need for control: Narcissists desire control over their partners and often want to dominate all aspects of the relationship. Feeling jealous can be a way for them to assert dominance and manipulate your emotions.
Insecurity and lack of trust: Narcissists often struggle with deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and mistrust. They might have difficulty believing that you genuinely love and care for them, leading to heightened jealousy and suspicion about your past.
It's important to note that jealousy in a relationship is not healthy or normal. If you find yourself in a relationship with a jealous narcissist, it can be emotionally draining and potentially harmful. It is crucial to set boundaries, communicate openly, and consider seeking professional help, such as couples counseling or individual therapy, to address the underlying issues and dynamics in the relationship.