Narcissists often engage in a pattern of behavior where they say one thing but do another due to several underlying psychological factors and personality traits. Here are some reasons why this discrepancy might occur:
Manipulation and Control: Narcissists are skilled manipulators who use words to control and deceive others. They may say things that they believe will elicit a certain response or gain them favor, even if they have no intention of following through on their promises.
Grandiosity and Self-Image: Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are special and superior to others. They may make grandiose claims or promises to maintain their self-image or appear more admirable in the eyes of others.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists have difficulty understanding and empathizing with the feelings and needs of others. Consequently, they may make promises without considering the impact on others and have little regard for fulfilling them.
Shifting Goals and Priorities: Narcissists tend to be driven by their desires and needs in the moment. Their priorities can change rapidly, leading them to disregard previous commitments and opt for what suits them best at any given time.
Avoiding Accountability: Narcissists fear criticism and negative judgment. By saying one thing but doing another, they can avoid taking responsibility for their actions or failures to follow through on their promises.
Attention and Admiration: Narcissists crave attention and admiration from others. They may make impressive-sounding promises to gain praise and attention, even if they have no intention of fulfilling them.
Sense of Entitlement: Narcissists often feel entitled to special treatment and may not feel obligated to adhere to societal norms or fulfill their commitments to others.
Lack of Self-Awareness: Some narcissists may genuinely believe they are going to follow through on their promises at the time they make them, but due to their lack of self-awareness and introspection, they may not recognize their own patterns of behavior.
It's important to note that not all individuals who occasionally fail to keep promises are narcissists. People can sometimes be forgetful or encounter unexpected obstacles that prevent them from fulfilling their commitments. However, when the pattern of saying one thing and doing another becomes a consistent and manipulative behavior, it may be a sign of narcissism or other personality disorders. If you find yourself dealing with someone who exhibits this behavior frequently, it's essential to set boundaries and protect your own well-being.