D.A.R.V.O. stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, which is a manipulative tactic used by some individuals, including narcissists, to shift blame and evade accountability. It can be challenging to combat D.A.R.V.O., but here are some practical counter moves that can help you disarm the tactic and protect yourself:
Awareness and education: Understanding D.A.R.V.O. and recognizing it when it occurs is the first step. Educate yourself about manipulative tactics, including D.A.R.V.O., so you can better identify when it's being used against you.
Document everything: Keep records of conversations, messages, and any incidents where D.A.R.V.O. is used. Having evidence can be crucial if you need to explain the situation to others or protect yourself legally.
Stay calm and composed: When faced with D.A.R.V.O., try to remain as calm as possible. Emotional reactions may be used against you, so it's essential to keep your emotions in check.
Assertive communication: Use clear and assertive communication to express your feelings and concerns without getting defensive. Stick to the facts and avoid getting drawn into emotional arguments.
Set boundaries: Establish and maintain firm boundaries with the individual employing D.A.R.V.O. Clearly communicate what behaviors you find unacceptable and enforce consequences if those boundaries are violated.
Seek support from others: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can validate your experiences and provide emotional support. Dealing with manipulative tactics can be isolating, so having a support network can be invaluable.
Practice self-care: Manipulative tactics can be emotionally draining. Take care of your mental and physical well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment.
Avoid engaging in power struggles: D.A.R.V.O. often aims to draw you into a power struggle where the manipulator gains control. Choose your battles wisely and avoid getting entangled in unnecessary conflicts.
Maintain no-contact, if possible: If the person using D.A.R.V.O. is an abusive or toxic individual, consider maintaining no-contact to protect yourself from further manipulation and harm.
Seek professional help if necessary: Dealing with D.A.R.V.O. and manipulative tactics can be extremely challenging, especially in abusive relationships. If you find it difficult to cope or feel overwhelmed, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor.
Remember, disarming D.A.R.V.O. can be challenging, especially if the person employing the tactic is persistent and manipulative. In some cases, it may be necessary to distance yourself from the individual or seek professional help to navigate the situation effectively.