It's essential to understand that individuals with narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder can exhibit complex and harmful behaviors in their relationships. While it's not accurate to generalize the behavior of all narcissists, there are some potential reasons why a narcissist might maintain toxic friendships while using and discarding victims who have mature and non-toxic friends:
Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists thrive on admiration, attention, and validation from others, known as narcissistic supply. Toxic friends might provide the excessive admiration and validation they seek, which fuels their ego and self-esteem. On the other hand, mature and non-toxic friends may not offer the same level of adoration, making the narcissist lose interest in them as a source of supply.
Control and Manipulation: Toxic friends might be easier for the narcissist to control and manipulate, as they may have lower self-esteem and are more susceptible to the narcissist's tactics. In contrast, mature and non-toxic friends may be less inclined to tolerate manipulative behavior, thus resisting the narcissist's attempts at control.
Fear of Exposure: Narcissists often fear being exposed or criticized for their true selves and insecurities. Toxic friends might enable and support the narcissist's self-aggrandizing behavior, ensuring that their weaknesses and vulnerabilities remain hidden. In contrast, mature and non-toxic friends might challenge the narcissist's grandiose self-image and may be more likely to recognize their manipulative tendencies.
Idealization and Devaluation Cycle: Narcissists tend to follow a pattern of idealizing others initially, showering them with attention and admiration. However, once they no longer serve their purpose or challenge the narcissist's inflated self-image, they may be devalued and discarded. Non-toxic friends who don't fit the narcissist's idealized image may be more prone to being discarded.
Empathy and Emotional Connection: Narcissists often lack genuine empathy and struggle to form deep emotional connections with others. Toxic friends might enable the narcissist's self-centered behavior without expecting emotional intimacy or understanding. In contrast, mature and non-toxic friends may seek more meaningful connections, which the narcissist may find difficult to provide.
Envy and Jealousy: Narcissists can experience intense envy and jealousy of others, especially those who have healthy and supportive relationships. They might feel threatened by the victim's non-toxic friends and try to undermine those connections to maintain control over the victim.
It's important to note that not all narcissists behave in the same way, and individuals with narcissistic traits may exhibit varying degrees of these behaviors. Additionally, the dynamics in any relationship are influenced by multiple factors, and understanding human behavior can be complex. If you find yourself in a situation with a narcissistic individual or know someone who does, seeking support from mental health professionals can be helpful in managing and navigating these challenging relationships.