It's important to remember that the concept of a narcissist genuinely loving someone in the traditional sense is complex and often questioned due to their personality traits. However, in some cases, a person with narcissistic traits may exhibit behaviors that could be mistaken for lingering feelings after a breakup. Here are some signs that your ex-narcissist might still have some level of attachment or interest, even after the breakup:
Hoovering: Narcissists are known for "hoovering," which is the attempt to draw you back into the relationship after a breakup. They might reach out with messages or calls, appearing remorseful or claiming they've changed.
Seeking attention: If your ex-narcissist continues to seek your attention, admiration, or validation even after the breakup, it could indicate they still want to have an emotional hold on you.
Jealousy and possessiveness: Narcissists can be highly possessive and jealous, even after a breakup. They may show signs of discomfort or hostility when they see you with someone else or hear about your new life.
Idealization of the past: Your ex-narcissist might glorify the past and the relationship, reminiscing about the positive aspects while downplaying or ignoring the negative ones.
Emotional manipulation: They might use emotional manipulation, guilt trips, or other tactics to maintain control or keep you engaged with them.
Apologies and promises: A narcissist may offer apologies and promises of change, attempting to lure you back into the relationship. However, such promises are often empty and short-lived.
Triangulation: They might involve themselves in your life indirectly by manipulating situations to make you jealous or insecure, playing mind games, or trying to create competition for your attention.
Engaging in love bombing: In an effort to win you back, they may resort to love bombing, showering you with affection, gifts, and attention, much like they did in the early stages of the relationship.
It's important to be cautious and not mistake these behaviors for genuine love or change. Narcissists can use these tactics as part of their manipulation to regain control over you or maintain a source of supply. The best course of action is to establish strong boundaries, maintain no contact if possible, and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate the complexities of healing and moving forward after a relationship with a narcissist.