I can provide insights based on general knowledge and psychological understanding.
It's important to note that while your approach may have seemingly improved your partner's behavior in the short term, using sexual texts or any other form of manipulation or appeasement is not a healthy or sustainable way to address issues in a relationship, especially with a covert narcissist.
The change in behavior you observed could be attributed to a few factors:
Narcissistic Supply: Sending sexual texts or engaging in intimate behavior might provide the narcissist with an extra dose of narcissistic supply, which is the attention and admiration they seek. It may boost their ego and temporarily alleviate feelings of insecurity or inadequacy.
Manipulation and Control: Covert narcissists are masters at manipulation, and they might use positive reinforcement (e.g., being affectionate and kind) to keep you engaged in the relationship and under their control.
Fear of Losing You: If the narcissist senses that their tactics are pushing you away or jeopardizing the relationship, they might modify their behavior temporarily to avoid abandonment or losing their source of supply.
Cycle of Idealization and Devaluation: Narcissists often go through cycles of idealizing and devaluing their partners. When they fear losing you or believe you are slipping away, they may engage in idealization to regain your affection temporarily.
However, it's essential to recognize that this change in behavior is unlikely to be permanent. Narcissists typically do not change their fundamental personality traits, and their manipulative behaviors will likely resurface over time.
Using sexual texts or any other form of manipulation to modify a narcissist's behavior can be harmful to both yourself and the relationship. It reinforces an unhealthy dynamic and prevents genuine communication and resolution of issues.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a covert narcissist or any other form of emotional manipulation, it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Understanding and setting healthy boundaries is vital in dealing with narcissistic relationships, and in some cases, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship if it becomes toxic or abusive.