A narcissist may continue the "I love you" charade even after being figured out for several reasons, many of which are rooted in their deep-seated personality traits and emotional needs. Here are some possible motivations for their behavior:
Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists crave attention, admiration, and validation from others. Maintaining the illusion of love allows them to continue receiving narcissistic supply, which is the emotional energy they derive from others' reactions, including positive ones like love and admiration.
Manipulation and Control: Keeping up the pretense of love can be a manipulation tactic. By convincing you that they love you, they can maintain control over the relationship and keep you emotionally invested and attached to them.
Fear of Abandonment: Some narcissists have an intense fear of abandonment. If they believe that you might leave them or withdraw your affection, they might pretend to love you as a way to ensure you stay in the relationship.
Maintaining a Positive Image: Narcissists are often preoccupied with their self-image and how others perceive them. Continuing to express love, even falsely, allows them to present themselves as caring and loving individuals, which can help protect their public image.
Avoiding Confrontation or Loss of Power: Confronting the truth about their lack of genuine love and empathy can be uncomfortable for narcissists. They might fear losing control or facing consequences if the truth comes to light, so they may opt to keep up the charade to avoid these potential outcomes.
Lack of Empathy: True emotional connection and empathy are challenging for narcissists due to their self-centered nature. They may not fully grasp the impact of their insincerity on others and might continue with the pretense without fully understanding the hurt it causes.
Cognitive Dissonance: Some narcissists might experience cognitive dissonance, where their behavior and beliefs are inconsistent. On one hand, they may recognize their lack of genuine feelings, but on the other hand, they may not want to accept or admit it, leading to internal conflict.
It's crucial to understand that the motivations of a narcissist are driven by their personality disorder, and their behavior is not a reflection of your worth or value as an individual. If you have identified a narcissist in your life and are dealing with the complexities of the relationship, it may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional who can provide guidance and help you establish healthy boundaries and coping strategies.