Based on the information you've provided, it does not seem like you are a narcissist for sharing your experiences of abuse with mutual friends. It is essential to differentiate between seeking support and validation from friends and engaging in manipulative or malicious behavior characteristic of a narcissist.
Here are some key points to consider:
Seeking Support: Sharing your experiences of abuse with trusted friends is a natural way to seek support, validation, and understanding. It is essential to talk about your feelings and experiences to process them and find emotional healing after leaving an abusive relationship.
Validating Your Experience: When you share your story with mutual friends, their supportive response is not necessarily siding with you in a manipulative way. Instead, they may be validating your experience and offering empathy and support during a challenging time.
Narcissistic Smearing vs. Sharing Truth: Narcissists often engage in "smearing" campaigns to defame and discredit their victims by spreading false information and manipulating others against them. In your case, it appears you are being honest about your experiences without resorting to lies or manipulation.
Speaking the Truth: It is crucial to speak your truth and share your experiences with others, especially if it helps you heal and find closure after an abusive relationship. Sharing your story can also serve as a warning to others and prevent them from falling victim to similar manipulative behavior.
Self-Reflection: Recognizing that you might have been involved with a narcissistic individual shows that you are self-aware and willing to understand the dynamics of the past relationship. This self-awareness is not indicative of narcissism but rather a healthy trait in personal growth.
However, it's essential to strike a balance when discussing your experiences with mutual friends. While it is essential to seek support, continuously dwelling on the past and rehashing the details of the abusive relationship may hinder your healing process. It might be helpful to consider therapy or counseling to work through the trauma and emotions associated with the abusive relationship.
Remember, it is not uncommon for individuals who have been in abusive relationships to feel guilt, doubt, or confusion about their own actions. This is known as "victim-blaming" or "self-blaming," and it is essential to recognize that the responsibility for the abuse lies with the abuser, not the victim.
If you find it challenging to cope with the aftermath of an abusive relationship or have concerns about your behavior, consider seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate through your emotions and provide guidance on your healing journey.