In a narcissistic relationship, intermediate reinforcement is a manipulation tactic that the narcissist may use to control and keep their partner emotionally invested in the relationship. It involves intermittent and unpredictable reinforcement of positive or rewarding behavior, which creates a strong emotional attachment and dependency on the narcissist.
Here's how intermediate reinforcement works in a narcissistic relationship:
Intermittent Positive Reinforcement: At the beginning of the relationship or during the love-bombing phase, the narcissist showers their partner with affection, compliments, and attention. This positive reinforcement is intermittent, meaning it is not consistently given but happens in spurts. This creates a cycle of highs and lows, as the partner becomes conditioned to seek validation and approval from the narcissist during the positive phases.
Unpredictability: The narcissist's behavior is unpredictable, so the partner never knows when they will receive positive reinforcement or when the narcissist might suddenly withdraw affection or attention. This unpredictability keeps the partner on edge and emotionally invested in the relationship, as they hope for more positive interactions.
Dependency: Over time, the partner becomes emotionally dependent on the intermittent positive reinforcement. They may start altering their behavior, seeking to please the narcissist in the hopes of receiving validation during the positive phases. This emotional dependency gives the narcissist a significant amount of power and control over the partner.
Isolation: The narcissist may also isolate their partner from friends and family, making them rely solely on the narcissist for emotional support and validation. This further deepens the partner's emotional dependency.
Cycle of Abuse: The use of intermittent reinforcement is part of a broader cycle of abuse that can be prevalent in narcissistic relationships. This cycle typically includes phases of idealization, devaluation, and discard. During the idealization phase, the intermittent positive reinforcement is at its peak. However, as the relationship progresses, the narcissist may start devaluing the partner, subjecting them to criticism, manipulation, and emotional abuse.
It's important to recognize that narcissistic relationships can be emotionally damaging and harmful. If you suspect you or someone you know is in a narcissistic relationship, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional is crucial. Breaking free from such relationships can be challenging, but with the right support, it is possible to regain emotional well-being and build healthier relationships in the future.