When a narcissist knows that you have moved on and are no longer available as a source of supply (attention, validation, admiration, etc.), their reaction and behavior can vary depending on their personality, the nature of the relationship, and their level of emotional investment in you. Here are some common responses you might observe from a narcissist in such a situation:
Seeking New Supply: Narcissists constantly crave validation and attention, so they may immediately start seeking a new source of supply to fill the void you left. They may try to find a new partner or surround themselves with people who can provide them with the admiration and attention they need.
Hoovering: Hoovering is a term used to describe the narcissist's attempt to "suck you back in" after you've left the relationship. They may use various manipulative tactics, such as love bombing (overwhelming you with affection), promises of change, or even guilt-tripping to make you reconsider your decision to move on.
Smear Campaign: If the narcissist feels rejected or abandoned by you, they may resort to a smear campaign. They may spread false rumors or negative information about you to others, attempting to damage your reputation and make themselves look like the victim in the situation.
Ignored Indifference: In some cases, a narcissist might respond with indifference and act as if your absence doesn't affect them at all. This reaction is often a defense mechanism to protect themselves from feeling rejected or hurt.
Attempts to Reconnect: Depending on the nature of your separation, the narcissist might try to reach out to you intermittently, seeking attention or attempting to rekindle the relationship when they feel it suits their needs.
Pursuit of Revenge: If the narcissist perceives your departure as a personal attack on their ego, they may harbor feelings of anger, resentment, and a desire for revenge. They might attempt to harm you emotionally, financially, or socially as a way to regain a sense of control.
Focus on a New Target: If the narcissist finds a new target of supply, they may become completely consumed with that person, and you might fade into the background of their attention.
It's essential to understand that the reactions of narcissists can be unpredictable and their behavior might not follow a logical pattern. They are driven by their own need for validation and control, and their actions are often a reflection of their disordered personality rather than a genuine response to the situation. If you have moved on from a relationship with a narcissist, it's crucial to maintain strong boundaries and prioritize your emotional well-being. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be helpful in navigating the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist.