Narcissists can exploit funerals and the grieving process to their advantage in various ways due to their manipulative and self-centered nature. Here are some common tactics they may employ:
Seeking Attention and Sympathy: Narcissists crave attention and admiration. At a funeral, they may exaggerate their grief or play the victim to garner sympathy and have others focus on them rather than the deceased or other mourners.
Making It About Themselves: Narcissists have a way of redirecting conversations and events to revolve around them. They may monopolize discussions about the deceased, even if they had a distant relationship, or use the opportunity to talk about their own experiences and feelings, disregarding others' emotions.
Grandstanding and Drama: Narcissists might engage in dramatic displays of grief, sobbing loudly or making a scene, attracting attention to themselves and their emotions rather than genuinely mourning the loss.
Using Charm and Flattery: Narcissists may use their charm and social skills to gain favor with grieving family members or friends. They might offer excessive compliments or assistance to manipulate others and maintain control over the situation.
Playing the Savior: Some narcissists might take on the role of the "savior" during the grieving process, offering to help with arrangements or organizing events. However, their assistance might be more about maintaining a favorable image rather than genuine concern for others.
Creating Conflict: Narcissists can take advantage of the heightened emotions during funerals to create conflict or stir up drama among family members or friends. This allows them to position themselves as peacemakers or the "voice of reason" while secretly enjoying the turmoil they've caused.
Fishing for Compliments and Praise: Narcissists often need constant validation and admiration. They might seek compliments and praise for their actions during the funeral or their supposed closeness to the deceased, even if it's exaggerated or untrue.
Guilt-Tripping and Manipulation: Narcissists can use guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation to control grieving family members or friends. They might use their own grief to make others feel responsible for their well-being or use guilt to obtain special treatment or favors.
It's important for those affected by a narcissist's behavior during a funeral to be aware of these tactics and set boundaries accordingly. Grieving is a vulnerable time for many, and narcissists may exploit that vulnerability for their own gain. Setting healthy boundaries, seeking support from others, and being cautious about falling into their manipulative traps can help mitigate the impact of their behavior during such emotionally charged events.