Narcissists have difficulty controlling themselves due to the nature of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and the underlying psychological mechanisms that contribute to their behavior. NPD is a complex personality disorder characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
Several factors contribute to why narcissists struggle with self-control:
Grandiosity and Sense of Entitlement: Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are special and entitled to special treatment. This grandiosity can lead them to act impulsively, as they feel they are above the rules and social norms that govern the behavior of others.
Need for Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists constantly seek external validation and admiration from others (referred to as "narcissistic supply") to maintain their fragile self-esteem. Their need for validation can drive them to engage in attention-seeking and manipulative behaviors without considering the consequences.
Lack of Empathy: Empathy involves the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Narcissists lack empathy, making it challenging for them to consider how their actions affect others. This lack of empathy can lead to callous and insensitive behavior.
Defense Mechanisms: Narcissists employ various defense mechanisms, such as denial, projection, and rationalization, to protect their fragile self-image and avoid confronting their own flaws. These defense mechanisms can hinder their ability to self-reflect and control their impulses effectively.
Shallow Relationships: Narcissists tend to have shallow and exploitative relationships with others, using them as a means to achieve their own goals. This instrumental view of relationships can lead them to manipulate and disregard the feelings and well-being of others.
Sense of Superiority: Narcissists often view themselves as superior to others and believe they are entitled to special treatment. This sense of superiority can lead to a lack of accountability for their actions, as they may not feel the rules apply to them.
Difficulty Handling Criticism: Narcissists have a fragile self-esteem and are extremely sensitive to criticism or perceived slights. As a result, they may react defensively or aggressively to protect their self-image.
It's important to note that while these factors contribute to the lack of self-control observed in narcissists, not all narcissists will exhibit the same behaviors or to the same degree. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, and individuals with NPD can vary in their expressions of the disorder. Additionally, some narcissists may be more self-aware and able to exercise some level of self-control, while others may struggle more profoundly.