Narcissists often display manipulative and hurtful behavior to maintain control and bolster their fragile self-esteem. When a narcissist says hurtful things like "you never brought anything positive to my life," it is a reflection of their distorted perception of reality and their need to devalue others to maintain a sense of superiority.
In the situation you described, where you married the narcissist and filed for a visa to improve his life, it's possible that the narcissist either:
Feels threatened by your contributions: Narcissists have a deep-seated fear of feeling inferior or being dependent on others. Your actions of providing support and improving his life may make him feel vulnerable, so he tries to undermine your significance to regain a sense of control.
Engages in projection: Narcissists often project their own negative qualities onto others as a defense mechanism. By accusing you of not bringing anything positive to their life, they may be projecting their own feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness onto you.
Downplays your achievements: Narcissists struggle to recognize and acknowledge others' positive contributions, especially when it doesn't directly serve their interests or self-image. In their mind, it's challenging to give credit to someone else.
Seeks to diminish your self-worth: Narcissists engage in gaslighting and emotional manipulation to undermine their victims' self-esteem and keep them emotionally dependent. By belittling your positive actions, the narcissist aims to make you doubt your value and question your worthiness.
It's important to recognize that the narcissist's hurtful words are not a reflection of your true value or the positive impact you have had on their life. People with narcissistic traits are often emotionally unavailable and incapable of appreciating the efforts and sacrifices made by others on their behalf.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being. Consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional who can help you navigate the challenges of dealing with a narcissistic individual and explore ways to protect yourself from emotional harm. In some cases, setting boundaries and, if necessary, distancing yourself from the narcissist may be the healthiest choice for your own growth and happiness.