It's important to note that not all narcissists exhibit the same behaviors, and individual motivations can vary. However, there are some common reasons why narcissists might stop sharing a bed when living together:
Loss of Interest: Narcissists often crave admiration and validation from others. Once they feel they have "won" the affection or commitment of their partner, they may lose interest in maintaining intimacy or closeness, as they have already achieved their goal.
Need for Control: Narcissists are known for their need for control and dominance. Sharing a bed with someone implies a level of vulnerability and emotional connection, which can make them uncomfortable. By refusing to share the bed, they maintain a sense of power and distance in the relationship.
Fear of Intimacy: Narcissists may struggle with genuine emotional intimacy and may find it difficult to connect with others on a deeper level. Sharing a bed can be an intimate experience, which they might avoid to protect themselves from emotional vulnerability.
Seeking Validation Elsewhere: Narcissists often seek constant validation and admiration from multiple sources. They may start to look for external validation and attention from other people, which can lead to a decline in intimacy with their partner.
Idealization and Devaluation Cycle: In many narcissistic relationships, there is a pattern of idealization followed by devaluation. Initially, the narcissist might shower their partner with affection, including sharing a bed. However, once the idealization phase is over, they may devalue their partner and withdraw intimacy as a way to exert control and undermine their partner's self-esteem.
Manipulation and Punishment: Narcissists can use withdrawal of intimacy, such as refusing to share a bed, as a manipulative tactic to control their partner. It can serve as a form of punishment if their partner does not meet their expectations or challenges their behavior.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often lack empathy and may not fully understand or appreciate the emotional needs of their partner. This lack of empathy can lead them to disregard their partner's feelings and desires, including their need for intimacy.
It's essential to recognize that being in a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally challenging and potentially harmful. If you find yourself in such a situation, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can provide guidance and help you navigate the complexities of the relationship and make informed decisions about your well-being.