After a significant fight, how a narcissist treats their spouse can vary depending on the individual's specific traits and coping mechanisms. However, there are some common patterns of behavior that narcissists may exhibit:
Silent treatment: Narcissists might give their spouse the silent treatment as a way to punish them and exert control. They may withdraw emotionally and refuse to communicate, leaving their partner feeling ignored and isolated.
Gaslighting: Narcissists may engage in gaslighting, a manipulative tactic where they distort the truth or deny their involvement in the fight. They might make their spouse doubt their own perceptions and feelings, leading to confusion and self-doubt.
Blame-shifting: Instead of taking responsibility for their actions or contributions to the fight, narcissists may shift the blame onto their spouse or external factors. This can leave their partner feeling unjustly criticized or burdened.
Seeking admiration from others: After a fight, a narcissist may seek validation and admiration from others to boost their ego and assert their self-importance. They might look for sympathy or support from friends, family, or even strangers.
Love-bombing: In some cases, a narcissist may attempt to "love-bomb" their spouse after a fight, showering them with excessive affection and attention. This can be a tactic to manipulate their partner into forgiving them and staying in the relationship.
Hoovering: If the spouse has attempted to leave or has threatened to leave, a narcissist may engage in "hoovering" to pull them back into the relationship. Hoovering involves using various tactics, such as promises of change, to regain control over the partner.
Escalating the conflict: Some narcissists may escalate the conflict further, leading to additional arguments and drama. This behavior can be an attempt to maintain control and keep the focus on them.
It's essential to recognize that these behaviors are not healthy or constructive ways of resolving conflicts in a relationship. Dealing with a narcissistic spouse can be emotionally challenging and may require seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional to navigate the complexities of the relationship. In some cases, leaving the relationship may be the best option for the well-being of the non-narcissistic spouse.