I can provide information about common signs and experiences that might make someone in a narcissistic relationship doubt themselves and wonder if they are the narcissist:
Gaslighting: Narcissists are experts at gaslighting, which is a manipulative tactic used to make the victim doubt their own perceptions, memories, and sanity. The constant questioning of one's reality can lead the victim to wonder if they are the ones causing the problems.
Projection: Narcissists often project their own flaws, insecurities, and negative traits onto their victims. If you find yourself constantly being accused of behaviors or attitudes that you don't recognize in yourself, it could be a sign of projection.
Emotional rollercoaster: Narcissists can create a tumultuous emotional environment where the victim is constantly on edge and trying to appease the narcissist's changing moods. This can lead the victim to question if they are the cause of the emotional instability.
Isolation and self-doubt: Narcissists can isolate their victims from friends and family, leaving them without a support system and making it easier for the narcissist to maintain control. The lack of outside perspective can lead the victim to internalize the narcissist's criticisms and doubt their own judgment.
Taking blame: Narcissists often refuse to take responsibility for their actions and instead shift the blame onto others. As a result, the victim may end up feeling responsible for all the problems in the relationship, even when it's not true.
Self-reflection and empathy: If you find yourself questioning your own behavior and trying to understand the narcissist's perspective, it's a sign that you have empathy and are willing to take responsibility for your actions. Narcissists typically lack genuine empathy and rarely self-reflect on their behavior.
Fear of being a narcissist: A person in a narcissistic relationship may fear becoming like their partner due to the negative behaviors they are exposed to regularly. However, this fear itself can be a sign that you are not a narcissist, as genuine narcissists are less likely to worry about their own narcissism.
It's essential to remember that narcissistic relationships are complex, and if you find yourself relating to some of these experiences, it doesn't necessarily mean you are the narcissist. These dynamics can be confusing and emotionally challenging, and seeking the support of a therapist or counselor can help you gain clarity and heal from the effects of the relationship. A mental health professional can provide guidance and assist you in understanding your role in the relationship and how to move forward in a healthy way.