After the last stage of devaluation and discard, the behavior of a narcissistic individual can vary depending on their personality, the specific dynamics of the relationship, and their current emotional state. Here are some possible scenarios of what might happen next:
Hoovering: Hoovering is a tactic often employed by narcissists to try and pull you back into the relationship after the discard phase. They may attempt to contact you again, showing affection, love-bombing, or making promises of change. This is done to regain control, boost their ego, or fulfill their emotional needs.
Silent Treatment: Alternatively, after the discard, the narcissist may choose to give you the silent treatment and completely ignore you. This is a way to exert power and control, leaving you in a state of confusion and emotional distress.
Smear Campaign: In some cases, the narcissist may engage in a smear campaign against you. They may spread false rumors or negative stories about you to discredit you and damage your reputation, especially if they feel rejected or want to play the victim.
Moving on to a new target: Narcissists might quickly move on to a new source of supply (a new partner or victim) once they discard you. They often seek validation and attention from others, and finding a new target fulfills their need for admiration.
Stalking or harassment: In extreme cases, a narcissist may engage in stalking or harassment behaviors. They might monitor your online presence, follow you, or try to invade your personal space to maintain control or intimidate you.
It's important to note that every narcissistic individual is different, and their behavior can be unpredictable. Some may move on without bothering you much, while others may try to keep you entangled in their manipulative games. The best course of action for you is to focus on your own well-being, healing, and creating healthy boundaries.
Here are some tips for dealing with a narcissistic ex or any toxic relationship aftermath:
No Contact (or Limited Contact): If possible, it's best to maintain no contact with the narcissist. If you have to interact (e.g., due to shared custody or other unavoidable circumstances), keep your interactions minimal and focused on essential matters only.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and help you process the experience.
Focus on Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and build your self-esteem.
Educate Yourself: Learn about narcissism and toxic relationships to gain a deeper understanding of what you went through and how to protect yourself in the future.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and stick to them to protect yourself from further manipulation or harm.
Seek Professional Help: If the aftermath of the relationship is causing significant distress or trauma, consider seeking therapy or counseling to address any emotional wounds and work towards healing.
Remember that healing from a toxic relationship takes time, but with the right support and self-care, you can move forward and build a healthier, happier life.