Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, especially when they deny or distort the truth to protect their self-image or manipulate others. When a narcissist says, "I never said that," it can be frustrating and disheartening. Here's how you can respond effectively:
Stay calm and composed: It's essential to maintain your composure when dealing with a narcissist. Emotional reactions may be used against you to further manipulate the situation.
Present evidence: If you have evidence or witnesses that can verify what the narcissist said, calmly present it without being confrontational. This could include written records, text messages, or audio recordings if appropriate.
Use "I" statements: When discussing the situation, use "I" statements to express how their words or actions made you feel or how it impacted you personally. Avoid using accusatory language or making them feel attacked, as it may cause them to become defensive.
Don't engage in arguments: Narcissists often thrive on conflict and attention. Refrain from engaging in lengthy arguments or debates with them, as it may only escalate the situation. Instead, state your point and disengage if the conversation becomes unproductive.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and assertively communicate what behavior you will not tolerate. Be consistent in enforcing these boundaries, as narcissists may test them repeatedly.
Seek support: It can be helpful to talk to friends, family, or a professional therapist who understands narcissistic behavior. They can offer guidance, validation, and help you maintain perspective.
Accept limitations: Recognize that you may not be able to change the narcissist or get them to acknowledge their actions fully. Focus on what you can control, such as your own well-being and reactions.
Consider limiting contact: If the relationship with the narcissist is causing significant distress and they refuse to acknowledge their behavior, it might be best to limit or cut off contact with them for your emotional well-being.
Remember, dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and challenging. Taking care of your mental health is vital in such situations, so prioritize self-care and seek support when needed.