When you go completely silent and don't chase after a narcissist, their reaction and thoughts may vary depending on the individual and the specific dynamics of the relationship. Here are some common reactions and thought processes a narcissist might experience:
Frustration and Confusion: A narcissist is used to having control and power over their targets. When you go silent and stop chasing after them, it can be frustrating and confusing for them because they are not getting the attention and validation they crave.
Narcissistic Injury: The silence and lack of pursuit can be perceived as a narcissistic injury to their ego. Narcissists have fragile self-esteem, and anything that challenges their sense of superiority can be deeply upsetting to them.
Anger and Retaliation: Some narcissists may react with anger and attempt to retaliate against you for "ignoring" them. They may resort to smear campaigns, spreading rumors, or attempting to undermine your reputation to regain a sense of control and superiority.
Doubt and Insecurity: Your silence might create doubt and insecurity in the narcissist's mind. They may start questioning why you are not pursuing them, and this uncertainty can be particularly unsettling for them.
Attempts at Hoarding: In response to your silence, a narcissist may engage in hoovering behavior. "Hoovering" refers to their efforts to draw you back into the relationship or regain your attention and admiration. They might use manipulative tactics, promises of change, or emotional blackmail to achieve this.
Seeking New Sources of Narcissistic Supply: If you were a significant source of narcissistic supply for the narcissist (attention, admiration, validation), your silence might push them to seek out new sources of supply to fill the void.
Playing the Victim: Some narcissists may use your silence as an opportunity to play the victim, portraying themselves as the ones who were abandoned or mistreated, to gain sympathy and attention from others.
It's important to note that going silent and not chasing after a narcissist can be a healthy and necessary step in protecting yourself from further manipulation and emotional abuse. However, it may also trigger the narcissist's attempts to regain control over you. It's essential to stay strong and maintain your boundaries if you decide to implement the no-contact or low-contact approach with a narcissist. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial in navigating the challenges of disengaging from a narcissistic relationship.