Narcissists can exhibit complex and manipulative behavior in relationships, and their actions may not always seem rational or consistent with conventional thinking. There are several reasons why a narcissist might persistently call or attempt to maintain contact after discarding someone for a new partner:
Ego Boost: Narcissists thrive on admiration and validation from others. By keeping communication lines open, they may seek to ensure that they still have control and power over their former partner's emotions and attention. The act of reaching out and receiving any response or attention can serve as an ego boost for them.
Backup Option: Narcissists often like to have backup options available in case their current relationship doesn't work out as expected. By keeping in touch with someone they've discarded, they might be keeping them as a potential backup or "supply" source in case they need it in the future.
Manipulation and Control: Maintaining contact can be a way for the narcissist to manipulate and control their former partner's emotions. They may use intermittent reinforcement, where they provide occasional positive or affectionate interactions, to keep the person hanging on and hoping for reconciliation.
Jealousy and Possessiveness: Narcissists can be possessive and jealous individuals. If they notice that their discarded partner is moving on or finding happiness with someone else, they might feel threatened and try to reassert their dominance by reaching out and creating drama or confusion.
Emotional Turmoil: Narcissists might enjoy causing emotional turmoil and chaos in the lives of others. By repeatedly contacting their former partner, they can keep them in a state of confusion and emotional distress, which gives the narcissist a sense of power and superiority.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists generally have a limited ability to empathize with others. They may not fully comprehend or care about the pain they are causing their former partner through their persistent contact.
Hoovering: This term refers to the act of trying to "suck" someone back into a relationship after they have been discarded. Narcissists might engage in hoovering as a way to reestablish control over their former partner and maintain a sense of dominance.
It is essential for the person who has been discarded by a narcissist to recognize the toxic nature of the relationship and establish healthy boundaries. Limiting or cutting off contact with the narcissist can be crucial for their emotional well-being and recovery. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can also be beneficial in navigating the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist.