A narcissist may want you out of their life for several reasons, and these reasons can vary depending on the specific dynamics of the relationship and the individual's personality. Here are some common reasons why a narcissist might want to discard or remove someone from their life:
Loss of Control: Narcissists desire to maintain control over others and their environment. If they feel that they are losing control over you or that you are asserting your independence, they may want to remove you from their life to avoid feeling vulnerable or powerless.
Fear of Abandonment: Narcissists often have an intense fear of abandonment, which is rooted in their deep-seated insecurity and fragile self-esteem. If they perceive that you are pulling away or rejecting them, they may preemptively abandon you as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from feeling abandoned first.
Idealization vs. Devaluation Cycle: Narcissists tend to idealize their partners initially and put them on a pedestal, viewing them as perfect and flawless. However, this idealization is usually short-lived, and they eventually shift into a devaluation phase, where they start seeing their partner as unworthy and inadequate. During the devaluation phase, they may want you out of their life as they no longer see you as a valuable source of admiration and validation.
Pursuit of New Supply: Narcissists constantly seek validation and attention from others. When they find a new source of narcissistic supply (someone who provides admiration and validation), they may discard you to focus on the new supply and gain their attention and admiration.
Avoiding Accountability: Narcissists often struggle to take responsibility for their actions and may avoid facing any consequences of their behavior. If you confront them about their harmful actions or behavior, they may choose to discard you rather than acknowledging their faults or working on the issues.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists typically have a lack of empathy and struggle to understand or care about the feelings of others. As a result, they may not consider the emotional impact of their actions on you and may easily discard you without much concern for your well-being.
Need for Drama and Attention: Some narcissists thrive on drama and attention. They may create conflicts or turmoil in relationships to keep things intense and exciting. Discarding you could be part of their need for drama and the pursuit of a more tumultuous relationship.
It's important to recognize that dealing with a narcissist can be challenging and emotionally draining. If you find yourself entangled with a narcissistic individual, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional who can help you navigate the situation and prioritize your well-being. Remember that establishing healthy boundaries and taking care of your emotional health are crucial in dealing with narcissistic relationships.