When someone reaches out to a narcissist's "friends" and family with the truth about the narcissist's behavior, it can trigger intense anger and defensive reactions from the narcissist due to several reasons:
Fear of exposure: Narcissists work hard to maintain a carefully crafted false image of themselves as flawless, perfect, or superior. When someone reveals the truth about their negative behavior, it threatens to expose their facade and shatter the illusion they have created. This fear of exposure can lead to anger as a defensive mechanism to protect their self-image.
Loss of control: Narcissists often seek to control the narrative and the perception others have of them. When someone shares the truth about their actions, the narcissist loses control over the information being disseminated. They prefer to be the ones who control the information flow to maintain a favorable image, and having someone else take that control away can be infuriating to them.
Erosion of admiration: Narcissists crave admiration, validation, and attention from others. When their negative behavior is exposed, some of their "friends" and family may start to question or criticize them, leading to a loss of the admiration they desire. This can be deeply distressing for a narcissist and result in anger towards the person who shared the truth.
Sense of entitlement: Narcissists often have a sense of entitlement, believing that they are special and deserving of unquestioning loyalty and support. They may feel betrayed and outraged that someone dared to challenge or question their actions by sharing the truth with their close ones.
Lack of empathy: Narcissists typically lack empathy and have difficulty understanding or relating to the feelings of others. As a result, they may not grasp how their negative behavior has hurt others or why someone would want to share the truth about them. Their anger may be a reaction to the perceived attack on their ego rather than a genuine understanding of the consequences of their actions.
Prolonged manipulation: Narcissists often manipulate and exploit others to serve their own needs. When someone reveals the truth, it can disrupt their web of manipulation and deception, leaving them feeling exposed and vulnerable.
It's important to note that confronting a narcissist or sharing the truth with their "friends" and family can be risky, as it may escalate their anger and potentially lead to retaliation or further manipulation. If you are dealing with a narcissist and believe it's necessary to disclose their behavior to others, consider seeking support from a therapist or a support network to navigate the situation safely and protect your well-being.