Narcissists exhibit a pattern of behavior characterized by a sense of entitlement, a need for control and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. When a narcissist becomes angry with you for not doing what they want, it is often a reaction to their perception that their control and dominance over you are being challenged or undermined. This can trigger feelings of narcissistic injury, which is a bruising of their fragile ego when they do not receive the admiration and compliance they expect.
There are several reasons why a narcissist might get mad and then say goodbye:
Loss of Control: Narcissists crave control over others, and when they realize they cannot control your actions or decisions, it threatens their sense of power and superiority. They may become angry as a reaction to this perceived loss of control.
Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists need constant attention, admiration, and compliance from others to fuel their self-esteem. When you do not meet their demands, they may feel a loss of narcissistic supply, leading to anger and frustration.
Manipulation and Punishment: Narcissists use various manipulative tactics to get what they want. When these tactics fail, they may resort to using anger and withdrawal as a means of punishing you for not complying with their wishes.
Idealization and Devaluation Cycle: In many cases, narcissists follow an idealization and devaluation cycle in relationships. Initially, they may idealize you to gain your trust and admiration. However, when they perceive you as not living up to their expectations, they may rapidly shift to devaluing and discarding you.
Self-Preservation: When faced with rejection or perceived abandonment, narcissists may choose to end the relationship as a way to protect their own self-image and avoid further emotional pain.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists struggle to empathize with others and see things from their perspective. They may not understand or care about the impact of their actions on others, leading to abrupt and hurtful breakups.
It's important to recognize that the behavior of narcissists is driven by their own insecurities and emotional deficits. Their reactions are not a reflection of your worth or actions. Going no contact or disengaging from a narcissist is often the healthiest choice for your well-being and protection from further emotional harm. If you have experienced a relationship with a narcissist, seeking support from friends, family, or a qualified therapist can be instrumental in the healing process.